I guess I don't have so many things to wonder. I started this blog months ago and have not taken the time to sit down and write. I am a big believer in discipline as you can see.
Actually my life became complicated for a while there. I finally woke up to the signs my body was trying to give me. On April 1st, we went to Rudy's for lunch for my mom's birthday. It was the first Rudy's visit of the year (yeah!). Rudy's is a local fish fry place on the lake, and an institution here. After we finish lunch (lots of fried food on buns dipped in gravy) I started to feel like I had swallowed a chestnut with the prickly coating on it. It became more and more uncomfortable to swallow past, and I was scared. I went to the emergency room 2 days later because it wasn't getting better. I should have realized a wake-up call when I saw it. What followed in quick succession were simply punctuation and underscores of the first wake-up call. I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, esophageal spasms and possibly sleep apnea. I needed to take care of myself PRONTO!
I have spent the last two months paying attention to my body ( and doctor's) in ways I never have. I have always prided myself on how much pain I could endure and my high my tolerance for pain. I am now realizing how much of a gift pain is. It lets you know that something is wrong. And here's the thing: most pain can be relieved. Why would you choose to live with pain if you could eliminate it? Why did I take so much pride in being able to "tough it out?" I guess maintaining old habits is easier than forging new ones.
Here's the kicker: The physical always mirrors the spiritual. I have been dealing with internal issues that I was "tough enough" to bear through...until I wasn't. I have been dealing with the fall out from my "Stuff", now I am dealing with the fall out from years of not taking care of my body. So yes, Diabetes is the best thing that happened to me.