Saturday, June 12, 2010

I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Maybe its the influence of Glee, but everything seems to be coming out with a theme song from some 80's power ballad lately. I swear after watching the finale (3 times in 2 days) I could NOT get "Faithfully" by Journey out of my head...or, for that matter, Finn. 

Are you ready for embarrassing admission number two? I cannot stop watching...well lets say it rhymes with Shmilight. I don't know why either. The acting is so-so, the love story they portray is unhealthy at best, unrealistic for sure, and quite possibly the most immature rendering of two people's feelings for each other I have ever witnessed. OK, I'll give you (if you'll give me) that the scenery is beautiful. So besides the cinematography, which is the only thing I'll admit (out loud) I like about this movie, what is it about this movie that has me watching it over and over again?

I am puzzling through this right now hoping that a blog post will help me figure it out. I'm not one of those gawker/stalker older women who is all into Edward Cullen. Frankly the pale faces on every single one of the vampires, I find, are ugly. I don't want some guy to be all broody all the time because of his tortured soul ( I lie, I totally go for the broody musician types). Neither do I want to be emotionally bounced around (he likes me, he doesn't like me).

I guess what it comes down to is that I want to be important to someone. And I want to be important enough that he'll go out of his way to get to know me. More than that, I want to be the principle character, the main player in my own life.  For so many years I have fit myself into whatever story is playing out, too afraid of failing at it to chance taking a larger role.  Sure I've added pizzazz to any ol' story line you put me in, but I was mostly a character actor, good for a laugh or a moment.

No longer.

I want my own life.  I want a story that won't be worth telling unless I'm in it.  And I want to share that story with someone special.  Let it be henceforth known, I am ready.

4 comments:

  1. we appreciate the honest confession!! i still love you and call you my friend!! :)

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  2. I like this, Mollye. I think I was about 30 when I became fully aware of the concept of 'creating my own life'...not just waiting for things to happen, but making things happen. So far, it's been the best and most productive 'A-ha moment' of my life. So, be the star, create the life you want...it works! :)

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  3. Having watched Invictus last night, I will respond with a quote: "I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul."

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